Lucita spent the last day of school eagerly awaiting the final bell. What a fucking year.

Francis had ruined her friendship with Liz. No, not basically. Liz was no longer talking to her. There was no hope there to save their friendship. She just needed to go, needed to get out. It was all a fucking mess.

She pulled out her cell phone checking her text messages. Nothing from Cyrus. Why the fuck did Tiffany have to ruin things even when she was gone. Why had she told Liz she lost her virginity to Matthew? Right, because they had been friends, and now they weren’t.

She shoved her phone back in her pocket when it vibrated.

It took her a moment to think about it.

Luci shoved her phone back into her pocket. Just a few more classes, and she could be done with this whole stupid year.

Silvia sat with Blake, Olivia, and Jason at lunch. Being his friend was weird, but he had stood by Luci when no one else had. Well, no one but herself and Ann.

Everything had gone to shit when Liz had confronted Luci when she had punched Francis down the stairs. Not that it amounted to much. Asshole had landed on his feet unharmed.

“I’m so glad this year is over,” said Blake, looking at Jason.

“What happened this year? I mean, what the fuck,” said Jason picking at his food.

“You started it.”

“I did not start shit.”

“Can you both shut up.” Silvia looked at Luci, who had just stepped out of the stairwell and onto the platform. She gave them a weak smile. “Let’s just say we all fucked up. Well, not Silvia. You were solid this year.”

“Hey, I did not fuck up,” said Blake defensively. “I was good this year. Becca didn’t want to listen, and it wasn’t cool, I didn’t like her when she acted like that.”

“How’s Cyrus?” asked Silvia.

“He’s not talking to me still.”

“What did he expect? For you to wait for him forever?” Jason looked away. Considering his feelings for Luci, it had also bothered him, but not as much. He had his own shit to deal with.

Luci rolled her eyes and sat beside Silvia, leaning her head on her shoulder.

“Matt is having an end-of-the-year party at his parent’s beach house. I’m going. You’re all invited.”

“Sounds like fun!” said Olivia, clapping her hands. “We need to get away from this dark cloud.”

Everyone chimed in agreement. Silvia smiled. These were her friends.

Becca sat with Evie and Liz. Why had she chosen this? Becca looked up and saw everyone else from where she sat, laughing and happy. While she sat basically alone while these two plotted.

“I mean, I told Tiff about it, and she told Cyrus. It was great. She was there when it happened, and oh my god, she said Cyrus tore Luci apart. She was left crying on the floor.”

“Good, it’s what she deserves.”

Becca winced at the harshness of her words. Why though? Was Francis even telling the truth? Luci swore he wasn’t, had sworn it up and down that all it had been was a kiss, a kiss she wished never happened. So why had she been angry herself?

Because of how she had treated Blake. Because without saying it, she had implied he had something on the side with Silvia.

“I am not going to be in another relationship where there is no trust. You either trust me or you don’t.”

She hadn’t. Becca hadn’t trusted him, not really, always unsure, always insecure. And she couldn’t even figure out why.

And now she was stuck with two people she didn’t even like, who ignored her. She had made her bed and now had to lie in it.

Cyrus had spent the last couple of weeks avoiding Matt. He couldn’t even stand to look at him. Matt was his best friend and had slept with the girl he…he what? God, his sister was right, he had to get his shit together. He didn’t even know how he felt about Luci.

But that was another reason he had avoided them both.

Cyrus thought about Luci. He thought about the way she looked at him, the way she kissed him. And then he thought those lips kissed his best friend. Matt had been with Luci in a way he hadn’t been able to, which made him so angry. What was he supposed to do? How the hell was he supposed to feel?

So when the final bell rang, calling their final band practice an end, he tried to run from the room, only to have Matthew block his path.

“Get the fuck out of my way.”

“Look, I know you hate me right now. I’m okay with that. I deserve it. I’m sorry. I am. You know me, Cy. You know how much you mean to me. And you know how much you mean to Luci.”

“I don’t want to talk to you.”

“I know, you’ve made that pretty clear this last month. This is the longest we’ve ever not talked. But what about Luci? Can you honestly think hurting her like this is okay?”

Cyrus looked at him. He knew Matthew as right. God, why was he always hurting Luci? Except he didn’t even know what to do, how to move on from this.

“What do you want?”

Matthew let out a sigh of relief. “I’m having a party at my beach house later. Luci will be there. Please just come talk to her, that’s it. You can keep hating me, but talk to her.”

Cyrus looked at his friend and decided he liked the person he was now better than the one who always hated Luci.

“I’ll think about it.” He walked past him, stopping briefly by his side. “And I don’t hate you. I don’t hate either of you.” And he didn’t. As always, he hated himself more.

The sunset on the beach was beautiful. Luci synced her Spotify account with the house sound system. Matt was giving her complete control over the music choice. And everyone was loving it. All his friends, her friends, were jumping up and dancing.

It was a fun night.

Then he walked in. Luci would see him everywhere. And when their eyes met, she knew he wanted to talk. Hands shoved in his pockets, he nodded towards the back of the house.

Luci made her way through the crowd, following after him.

Alone, they stood on the back patio.

“I didn’t think you would come.”

“Matt made a good case. He said we should talk.”

“Cyrus, I’m sorry.”

“Stop. You have nothing to be sorry about. We weren’t dating, we weren’t anything.”

“Then why did it bother you so much.”

“Fuck Luci. I have feelings for you. I do, and it bothered me that something was going on between you two. My best friend and you. You were supposed to—”

“Supposed to what?” Now she was angry. “Supposed to wait for you? When was that going to happen?”

“Luce—”

“No, don’t Luce me. Fuck!” She stalked up to him and shoved him angrily.

“See, this is why you shouldn’t be sorry,” he whispered, grabbing her wrist. “Because this is what I do to you. It’s what I always do to you even when I don’t mean to.”

“You’re an asshole,” she whispered, stepping close to him.

“Luce—”

“Shut up.” She kissed him, and he let go of her wrist, wrapping his arms around her. It was everything she wanted, his lips on hers, his arms around her. Until he shoved her away.

“Cyrus—”

“No. Fuck, that shouldn’t have happened.”

“Why? Why not? Why don’t you ever want me? I’m here, that kiss, every kiss, your jealousy, on some level, you want me. Why don’t you want me?” Tears began to fill her eyes.

“Because you love me, and I…fuck. Luce, you love me, and I don’t know that I feel the same way for you. You fucking love me, and it scares the shit out of me.”

“You’re a coward.”

“Fine, sure.”

“You don’t want to be with me because I love you? That’s a pitiful excuse.”

“It’s the truth. I’m just going to hurt you. Say we date; what if I never love you and break your heart.”

She laughed. “Oh my god. Do you hear yourself? What if you break my heart? You do that already!”

“All the more reason for us not to date! I can’t, Luce. I’m sorry. I can be your friend, but I can’t date you. I have to figure out this shit. Can you give me that? Otherwise, I don’t think we can be friends at all.”

“No.” The word came out unbidden. “No, I need you.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do.” She took a deep breath and held back the tears. “Cyrus, please, I can give you my friendship. I can do that for you.”

“Okay.” He shoved his hands back into his pocket. “I only came to talk to you. I’m gonna head out now.”

“Oh, don’t be an idiot.” She gave him a small, weak smile. “Stay. We’re all friends. Let’s start acting like it.”

Together, they walked back to their friends. Everyone together. Jason, Blake, Silvia, Matt, Cyrus, and Olivia. Lucita smiled. These were her friends; together, they would brave the next year and all its drama. She looked over at Cyrus one last time, smiling up at him. Maybe one day.

END

Pre-Order ‘New Girl,’ the first in my YA Romance series.