Silvia was happy that things between her and Olivia were better. Or at least back to normal: they were holding hands again, kissing again. In fact, the other day, the kissing had gotten a little too intense, so Silvia had had to put a stop to it. Just like she was about to again with Olivia’s hand slipping underneath her waistband.

“What’s wrong?” Olivia had said, pulling away from her as they lay tangled on Silvia’s bed. She didn’t mind the making out; she loved it, in fact. She just wasn’t there yet.

“Well, I’m not…are you sure we’re not going too fast?”

“Is it going too fast for you?”

“I mean, I just think we need to slow down.”

Hurt and confusion flashed over her eyes. “Don’t you want me?”

The look she gave Silvia was heartbreaking. It wasn’t just that she didn’t think she was ready; she didn’t think Olivia was ready either. Especially with the way she had been asking the last couple of months, distant. Until she wasn’t.

“Come on, that’s not—” Silvia tried to reach for her. Still, Olivia pulled away, towards the edge of the bed, untangling herself from her.

“It’s whatever. I’ll see you at school tomorrow.” Silvia tried to think of something to say, something to tell this girl she loved that she did want her. But nothing came to mind, and she watched her pack her bag and leave.

Silvia flopped back on her bed, confused. What was she supposed to do? This was their new pattern: soft kisses, then Olive just storming off when Silvia wouldn’t let her go any farther. She thought Olivia should understand, but maybe there was more to it. Except she wouldn’t open up to her anymore, not since Halloween. Sometimes, Silvia felt like they had left her in that room with Evie instead of saving her.

Picking up her cell, she called Luci.

“Hey girlie, what’s up?”

“Wanna come hang out for a bit?”

“Sure. I thought you were hanging out with Olive today?”

Sivia bit back her frustration. “She had to leave.”

“Okie dokie. I’ll be over in a bit.”

Living in the same complex was great because it meant that no matter the time, one of her best friends could come over at the drop of a hat.

So only after ten minutes did Lucita arrive, dressed in a flannel over ripped shorts and a purple tank top, a book and a notebook in her hand.

Luci took her usual spot in the room, the blue beanbag beside her desk, legs crossed under her.

“So what’s up, girlie?” she said, opening her notebook.

“Not much. How about you? You and Cy dating yet?”

Luci looked up from her notebook, cheeks bright red. “Oh, you’re so funny.”

“Well, didn’t he ask you out on a date?”

“Yes, we went to the movies together. It wasn’t, like, anything serious. And it felt weird.”

“Weird how?”

Luci shut her notebook. “I don’t know. Like, do I hold his hand? I’m confused about whatever friendship we have. It’s weird. I just don’t know how to act right now around him.”

“I guess that would be weird.”

“Yeah. I could tell too that it was weird for him. Like when we met up, it was like this hug slash kiss on the cheeks. We’re friends, but clearly, after the whole thing, we’re not just friends anymore. We’re something, just not yet.” Luci waved her hand in the air, dismissing the subject. “Anyway, it’s whatever. How about you and Olive, everything okay there?”

Silvia shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not sure. We were making out, and things were going too far, and I’m not quite ready for that, ya know. So I gently put a stop to it.”

“Oh.”

“And she kind of freaked out about it on me.”

She saw Luci wince. “Ee, ouch.’

“Yeah. But that’s how it has been with us lately. She’s attentive again, which is better than her being distant, but then this happens. She either doesn’t want to touch me at all or she wants to touch too much. It’s really confusing. And she doesn’t open up anymore, so I don’t know what to do about it.”

Silvia looked up at Luci, who was biting her bottom lip. “What?”

Luci let out a deep breath. “I have to tell you something.”

A bad feeling grew in the pit of her stomach, tangling her up. “What Lu?”

Lucita put her book on the floor, wringing her fingers together. “I think Olivia is cheating on you. With Evie’s brother.”

Silvia stared at her friend. “You think, or you know?” The words came out clipped, her heart racing, her rage building, threatening to break her. Luci at least had the decency to look down, away from her.

“What the fuck, Luci!”

“I spoke to Ms. Enno about this, about her behavior, because it didn’t make sense to me. She said I shouldn’t say anything because it might make her relive her trauma if we confronted her.”

“What?”

“Okay, so I saw her with Evie’s brother—”

“I’m going to be sick.”

“I haven’t seen it again, but her behavior just isn’t making sense. She’s too hot and then too cold. There’s no balance to it, no rhyme or reason. I think…Silvia, I think she needs to talk to someone and…I think confronting her is the only way that’s gonna happen.”

“What about traumatizing her, huh? Isn’t that why you kept this a secret?” She didn’t mean to lash out. She got it, she understood. Luci had been in a terrible position. But that still didn’t make her feel any better; it didn’t quench the hurt.

Luci swallowed. “Maybe she needs to be traumatized. If she’s still seeing him…she needs to face her behavior.”

“You should have said something.”

“I’m saying something now. But you’re right. I just…I didn’t want to hurt you or her…but staying silent isn’t helping her either. I’m just…staying silent is allowing her to hurt herself more than anything.”

Silvia stood up, grabbing her shoes by the door.

“Where do you think they are?”

Luci shrugged, standing beside her, slipping back into her wedge sandals. “If you were her, where would you go?”

Silvia stared at her friend when it finally dawned on her. Hurriedly, she turned, Luci trailing behind her, hands shoved into the pockets of her shorts.

“Silvia…what are you going to do if I’m right?”

Silvia didn’t say anything. She didn’t know herself.

They walked the property in silence, heading towards the back of building five where Evie lived.

“Vee, where are we going?”

“There’s a pool room over here that is usually kept unlocked. Olivia showed it to me once.”

Vee could feel the rage simmering behind her tears, burning her eyes. When the pool room came into view, so did the sounds.

Something in her snapped, and she quickly turned off the path into the grass, vomiting. She left Luci kneeling beside her, felt her wrap her arms around her waist, and lay her head on her back. A part of her wanted to shove her off for keeping this secret. But, again, Silvia understood why Lucita had done what she did. It made sense.

Standing up, Luci still by her side, lacing her fingers through hers.

“What do you want to?” she asked, brown eyes earnest behind her glasses.

“Wait.”

Lucita nodded, and together, they took a seat on the bench near the room, holding hands.

“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner.”

“Who else knows?” Because she knew Luci, she would have told someone, probably Matt or Cyrus.

Luci bit her lip. “Blake. He told me Olive kinda threw herself at him before we caught her.”

Silvia scoffed. “Of course. It just had to be my ex-boyfriend, didn’t it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s whatever.”

They sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity until the door opened and Evie’s older brother stepped out, buttoning his pants. He stopped short, staring at Silvia, eyes wide.

“Get a move on fucker,” said Luci, glaring at him.

“Fuck.” He ran off, and behind him stood Olivia, eyes wide in shock, breathing heavily.

“Vee!”

The rage began to bubble up again. Luci must have felt it because she tightened her hold on her hand, thumb tracing the palm, bringing her back to earth.

“How could you?” she muttered, voice cracking under the pressure.

“Vee—”

“Why!” she screamed, standing up and pulling away from Luci. “Him of all people? His sister assaulted you!”

“Vee, you have to calm down,” said Luci, standing beside her, trying to bring her back to them.

“You don’t understand,” sniffled Olivia, trying to reach out to Silvia. Silvia swatted her hand away.

“You’re right, I don’t. You don’t talk to me. You don’t want to talk to me, but I’m done. You need help, and if you don’t want to talk to me, fine. But you have to talk to someone.” She turned away, running, aware of Luci running behind her, tears falling down her face.

Order ‘New Girl,’ the first in my YA Romance series.