Luci sat on Matthew’s lap, cradling him between her legs on his living room sofa, kissing him, moving her body in a way that made his nerves alight. Matthew was so close to finishing, digging his fingertips into her thighs to slow her down.

“God, Luci,” he moaned, his lips swollen, leaning his head back.

“Done?” He could hear the smile in her mouth, even with his eyes shut.

“Not yet.” He pushed her off him, going into her from behind, hard and fast.

Afterward, they stayed on the sofa, lying down, making out. Her arms were around his neck, his hands up her dress, exciting her.

Then the doorbell rang.

“Don’t,” she whined, her mouth against his.

Pulling away from her was the last thing he wanted to do. “Might be important,” he said, his mouth against her collarbone.

“Ugh, fine.” Luci sat up, grabbing the remote off the coffee table. “I’m gonna play some video games.”

“Have at it,” he said, grinning.

Matthew made his way to the door, fixing his pants and combing his hair with his fingers before he opened the door.

Shit. “Cyrus?”

“Hey man, we were gonna hang out, remember?”

No, he did not. “Right, I—”

“Hey Matt! I’m gonna load up MK. Whose ass do you want me to kick because—” Luci stopped in the doorway from the living room to the hallway, eyes wide. Matthew’s muscles tensed, seeing the way they both stared at each other, the wanting clear.

“Right,” said Cyrus finally, “I’ll uh, I’ll come back later.”

“No, I’ll leave.”

“Lu—” started Matt.

“No, it’s okay. I’ll call a cab or an Uber or something. It’s fine.”

“No one is going to let you do that.”

“It’s fine.” Her voice pitched, dragging out the ‘i’ in ‘fine’. No, it certainly wasn’t fine.

“No, he’s right. Look, I’ll come back or wait upstairs—”

“Okay,” said Matthew, putting his hands up. He got the awkwardness. It had been a week since they last saw each other and exchanged words. But he couldn’t stand it; he couldn’t stand the way it made him feel, twisting up his gut. “How about we all get in the car. Luci, I’m going to drive you home. Cyrus, you are going to come with us, and we’ll grab food on the way back.”

Both of them looked about to protest. “Matt—”

“Nope,” he said, grabbing his keys from their place on the wall and sliding into his slides. “Everyone, get in the car.”

It was the worst car ride ever. Nothing but silence. Luci sitting in the back, picking at her nail polish, biting down on her lips. And then there was Cyrus, sitting in the passenger side seat, watching her through the rearview mirror.

When they reached Luci’s apartment complex, she didn’t even wait for the car to stop before she leaped out, bag and shoes in hand, walking barefoot as always.

Matt let out a heavy sigh as he pulled out of the parking lot, waiting for Cyrus to say something. When Cyrus finally spoke, Matt wished for silence again.

“You had sex, didn’t you?”

“Do you really want me to answer that?”

“Don’t bother.”

Matthew rolled his eyes and pulled up to the red light, his hands gripping the steering wheel. “I’ll stop. Just say the word, and I’ll stop.”

“It’s whatever. Let’s just pick up some food.”

“Okay.”

More silence.

“Where?”

“What?”

“Where did you have sex?”

Matthew’s eyes bulged. The absurdity of the question, how Cyrus spoke, pain lacing his words, made him cringe.

“Dude, I am not going to answer that!”

“I just don’t get it.”

“Get what?”

“You. Her. You guys used to hate each other’s guts.”

“Yeah. I’ve thought about that. You know I hated her because there she was, this cute girl who liked you. And you liked her back. You never admitted it, but I noticed. Even then, I loved you. Or I thought I did. I had this massive crush on you, and I was mad because I knew you’d never like me that way, and it pissed me off. And her? Well, she was friendly and sweet, nose in a book, and I wanted her to like me. I wanted her to look at me the way she looked at you.

“But I didn’t want to like her, so I decided to just ruin everything. And last year, we bonded, really bonded. We bonded over our writing, our feelings about you, and our shared experience of being rejected by you. I got it. No one else did, but I did. I understood her. So, yeah, there ya go.”

More silence. It was deafening. He wished he could read Cyrus’s mind. He hoped Cyrus wasn’t reading too much into what he was trying not to feel himself.

“That makes sense.”

“Okay. Good. I’m glad.”

“So you like her.”

“What? No, no, no, no, not that way.”

“Right,” said Cyrus, smiling slyly, “Because you love me.”

Matthew grinned back at his friend, thankful that the energy in the car had returned to normal. “Don’t be an ass.”

“So, do you still love me?”

“Fuck off, man,” he said, playing, shoving him with his hand. “I’m so over you.”

“Riiiight.” Cyrus’s grin widened, but Matthew could see something in his eyes that made his stomach clench. “Anyway, let’s grab some Checkers.”

Matthew nodded, feeling relaxed. But something was bothering him, something needling its way into his mind. No, he wasn’t allowed to fall for Luci, this girl who loved to read and write, this girl who was so in love with his best friend. No, he wouldn’t let himself fall for her.

But the needling told him he might be too late.

 

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