By: Cynthia Ayala
Everyone has this idea of the perfect proposal, of what it’s supposed to look like. My boyfriend, who is now my fiancé (yay!), recently proposed to me. Yet he constantly feels like he cheated because he didn’t make a spectacle of it. Thank goodness. But everyone has these ideas of the man getting on one knee and proposing. Nope. My perfect honey bee (don’t tease) just put the ring on my finger as we were curled up in bed. He told me he loved me and only wanted me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. We were together and it was perfect. But it is such a tender and personal moment, one that I don’t want to share with the world (a contradiction since I am sharing it here – but this is more of an impersonal way).
So I tell people the story about us on the beach at night. It’s not entirely false. The evening happened the way it did, minus the proposal. But this is what people want, what is expected of the man: to make a spectacle. So I tell a story, I’m a writer, it’s what I do. And yes, I will admit, the way I tell the story is precious, another way I would have liked it. But what I got was priceless.
So why is the spectacle necessary? Why is the story so desirable? I’ve never understood the “gush” moment of the proposal. Was I breathless? Yes, I was, but I know he’s the guy for me, which is why I said yes. And there was a moment in my life where I thought I would never get married but I was watching Step-Mother with Julia Roberts. When the man proposes to her, tying a string around her finger and then, accompanied by a romantic speech, slips the ring down the string to her finger. I saw that and knew that I wanted someone to propose to me like that. And that’s what I got. It was intimate, honest, and real (I know, synonyms), tender, sweet and personal. It was perfect, perfect for me and anything I could have ever wanted.
I love him. Let’s end with that.