Silvia walked through the school hallway holding Olivia’s hand, fingers laced. It felt good, safe, and warm. It reminded her of a time when she had been with Blake.

Blake, who was looking at them strangely.

“So, you two are officially a couple?” he asked, hands shoved into his pockets.

“I think they’re adorable,” said Luci, jumping up behind him, landing a kiss on his cheek, and shooting them a wink.

Silvia smiled at her.

“Excuse me, did I say you could kiss me, miss? I don’t know what kind of germs Matthew has.”

Despite that, he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulled her in for a playful hug, and let her wrap her arm around his shoulder. Two years ago, the sight would have been weird, unfitting. Now, after everything, it worked, seeing them as friends.

“Don’t mind him. He’s just jealous he’s alone,” said Jason.

“You’re alone too dick.”

Jason flipped him off.

“Anyway,” began Luci, her arm still around Blake. “We’ve got homecoming coming soon. Are we excited? I am! I think we should all go together. Sound like fun?”

Silvia knew there was no room for argument, not with that glint in her eye.

“Oo, I like that idea,” squealed Olivia. “We can color coordinate our dresses!” She spun around playfully before landing a kiss on Silvia’s cheek.

“You gonna bring Matthew?” asked Blake.

“Well, I was gonna try, but he and Cyrus are in the school band, so I don’t know if they would make it.”

“They?” asked Blake sourly. “You only get two tickets.”

“Weeellll,” she began, glint shining like stardust, “I was hoping Silvia or Olivia would buy an extra ticket for me. I would give you the money, of course.”

Silvia rolled her eyes. “If they want to come, I’ll buy the extra ticket for you.”

Luci jumped off Blake, throwing her arms around Silvia engulfing her in a giant hug.

“Thank you.”

“Do you just want Cyrus to come to get jealous,” said Jason, arms crossed.

Lucita rolled her eyes, lips pursing slightly. “No. There’s no point in doing that. But he’s my friend, Matt’s best friend, and I don’t want him to be left out.”

“Guess it’s his loss. Either be the third wheel or be alone.”

“Dude,” began Blake, clearly as annoyed with him as Lucita was. Lucita’s eyes narrowed behind her glasses, the heavy cat eye she dolled on taking on a menacing appearance.

“I’m sorry,” she began, voice low, “Do you have a problem, Jason?”

Silvia rolled her eyes, exhausted by the drama. “No one has a problem. Jason, Cyrus made his decision. If he doesn’t want to come, he won’t. You don’t get to make her feel guilty because he can’t make up his damn mind.”

“Look, I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad. I just think maybe she should think about his feelings. Just because he chose to let her go doesn’t mean he’s okay with seeing them together. I see it; it hurts him.”

With that, Luci spun around and ran off without saying a word to anyone.

“Good job, dude.”

“Jason, that wasn’t cool,” said Olivia, arms crossed.

“Hey, I am not trying to be the bad guy, but you all know she has an ulterior motive.”

“Her motive,” began Silvia, “Is that she loves him and just wants to be around him. You’re so dense, Jason. That’s all she wants. Maybe to even dance with him, just once, to pretend for a moment that he chose her. It’s not about making him jealous; it’s about being around him. Even though it hurts. You know that, right? It hurts her to be around him. It physically hurts her. That’s why she’s with Matthew.”

Jason just stared at her dumbfounded, jaw open, properly shamed.

“I didn’t think about it like that.”

“Clearly,” began Olivia, “You just saw it through a male gaze.”

Blake threw his hands up in defense. “Hey now, I didn’t agree with him.”

“Yes, you’re a gem.” Olivia patted Blake on the head like he was a dog. He swatted her hand away, shooting Silvia a withering look.

“Couldn’t you date a less annoying chick?”

“You adore me.”

Rolling his eyes, he smiled, not meeting Olivia’s beaming gaze. “I’m gonna head to class. See you guys later. Come on, dude.” He pulled Jason by his bag, dragging him along after him.

“We have strange friends.”

Silvia took her girlfriend’s hand in hers. “Yeah, but they’re the good kind of strange. Let me walk you to class before the bell.”

“Okie dokie.”

Becca sat alone before the first bell. It had been another turbulent night at her mother’s. She couldn’t sleep at her brother’s on a school night; he lived too far from the school. But at two in the morning, she had called him, and he had come for her.

Their parents had been fighting again. Mom had thrown a few things; Dad had screamed back. Becca had just wanted to run away.

Eventually, they stopped, but not before her dad yelled at her mother about his attorney, storming into Becca’s room to tell her to pack a bag. Being put in the middle of it, of them, like that had been terrifying. Her father had seen the terror in her eyes as they flittered from one parent to another.

“Mija,” he said, his voice calmer and gentler, hands on her shoulder, “You’re going to stay with your brother until my apartment is ready.”

“Papá, ¿ella estará allí?”

Becca wasn’t sure she could live in the same house as the woman his father was leaving his mother for. He bent down closer to her, her mother hanging in the doorway. “No, not right away. Not until you’re okay and everything gets sorted out. But eventually, yes. Is that okay?”

Becca had looked at her mother, the woman she was never good enough for, who mocked her body and made her feel inadequate.

“Yeah,” she said, nodded, meeting her father’s gaze, “That’s okay.”

“Niña ingrata,” muttered her mother before storming off, slamming the door to her bedroom.
Becca had flinched. Even now, she imagined her mother destroying what was left in her room.

She wiped away a stray tear.

“Becca?”

Becca looked up at the voice, up at Luci, who stared down at her concerned.

“Oh, hi.”

“Are you okay?”

“No,” she said, wiping away the last of her tears. “My mom and dad, it was really bad last night. I had to go to my brother’s apartment at two in the morning.”

“Oh, wow.”

“It was terrible. My dad is trying to get full custody, which is great, but I mean, my mom is still my mom.”

“Okay.”

“I can’t just leave her alone. Can I?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think I can answer that for you. I think you just need to figure it out.”

“But how! How am I supposed to choose one over the other?”

“I don’t think you should think of it that way. I think you have to think about what’s best for you. Your mom—she’s not really a nice person, and a big part of that is her projecting her unhappiness onto you. You’ve told me she doesn’t make you feel good. It’s toxic. I’m sorry, but your mom is toxic.”

“Don’t say that.”

“I’m sorry, but it’s the truth. Sometimes, people don’t deserve our love, and we give it to them anyway. And they leech off it and take and take and don’t care. Sometimes, the best thing to do is to cut them loose.”

“Speaking from experience?”

Luci winced. “Do as I say, not as I do.”

“I just don’t know. She’s my mom.”

They sat there for a moment before Luci stood up, holding out her hand.

“Come on.”

“What? Where are we going?”

Luci grinned. “We’re going to the beach.” Luci grabbed her hand, pulling her up, dragging her along. “We gotta go before the first bell.”

“Luci! This is crazy.”

Luci shrugged. “Who cares.”

Luci dragged Becca behind her towards the front gate. Casually, they walked to the sidewalk. Before she knew it, they were on the street sidewalk heading to the bus stop.

“That was super easy.”

“Yeah, that’s cause no one actually cares if we get to class. The education system is a joke.”

“Says the girl in all AP classes.”

“Which, again, aren’t that hard. Only U.S. History and Pre-cal challenge me. I pretty much write my book in every other class. Super easy.”

“You’re just a know-it-all.”

Luci stuck out her tongue. “I have enough money for two bus passes. We can head to Cyrus’s beach house and have some fun. The number one will take us all the way to the beach.”

“What about class?”

“Meh. I’ll text Silvia for all the homework assignments.”

“How are we gonna get home?”

“The bus pass lasts all day. But I can always see if Matt can come pick us up.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Relax, I’ve got this.” She winked at her, and Becca let Luci’s grin reassure her as the bus pulled up. And for once, she lived in the moment and jumped onto the bus after her friend, feeling lighter.

It was a glorious day, not too hot for once, breezy and light. The perfect beach day. And the waves, they were breathtaking.

“Man, I wish I had a surfboard right now.”

Like Matthew’s beach house next door, Luci dropped her stuff onto the back porch that rounded the house. “Too bad no one in Cyrus’s family surfs.”

“How did you know where the key was?”

“Cyrus’s mom let me know. I used to run away a lot, and she told me I could come here if I ever needed a place to escape my mom. That was before the cutting when things between us weren’t so bad.”

“Oh.” She took a seat on the steps, followed by Luci. “Do you still do it? The cutting?”

She shook her head. “No. The urge is there, but I’m learning to talk more. Matthew, well, being with him helps.”

“Do you care about him?”

Luci paused, picking at the dirt under her nails. “I’m not gonna lie, yeah, I do. I don’t think I’d be able to be with him if I didn’t, but if Cyrus wanted me, I would be with him in a heartbeat. Does that make me terrible?”

“I don’t think so. I think it would be different if Matt didn’t know that.”

“I think if Cyrus wasn’t involved, I could be with Matt. It’s easy, you know, being with him. Sometimes, I do imagine us in an actual relationship. But there’s Cyrus.”

“You really do love him, don’t you.”

“It hurts loving someone who doesn’t deserve you.”

“Kind of like my mom.”

“I guess. Honestly, I think it might be good for her. Maybe she’ll finally see how amazing you are. Like that saying, you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.”

They sat there in silence for a moment. “Maybe you should talk to Matthew. About your feelings.”

“Eh, it’s whatever. It’s messy and confusing, and I can’t top how I feel about Cyrus. I don’t think I can be in a serious relationship with anyone while I’m in love with him.”

“Oh, okay. Well, for what it’s worth, I think Cyrus will come around.”

Luci laid her head on her shoulder. “I hope so.”

“And Luci?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for this. I needed it.”

“Anytime, love.”

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