Silvia sat beside Luci at the Halloween party. No, Matthew. No, Cyrus. It was odd for Luci not to have asked someone to get a ticket for one of them. Instead, they were at their school party, which left Luci sulky.
She had pulled away from everyone. It made her worry. But so far, Silvia had not seen any marks on her.
“I need a drink. Think anyone managed to spike the punch bowl?”
“This isn’t a high school movie.”
Luci shrugged. “Maybe not, but there are fuckers like that in real life. Living cliches. Imma go check.”
Silvia watched her friend slink off into the crowd in her Frankenstein’s Bride costume. She could tell her friend was hiding something, that was obvious, but Silvia didn’t want to push her or make her recede further into herself.
When Luci was ready to talk, she would.
Looking away from Luci, she returned to the dance floor where her girlfriend was dancing with Blake and Rebecca. Her ex, and his ex. It was so weird that they were all friends, laughing like the past two years had been inconsequential. And maybe parts of them had been. But the most important parts, even the hard parts, had brought them closer together and made them her friends. Her best friends, in fact.
“She’s so cute, isn’t she?”
Silvia turned, glaring at Evie in her stupid slutty devil costume, taking Luci’s seat next to her.
“How did you get that costume past the chaperones?”
Evie shrugged. “I changed in the bathroom.”
Rolling her eyes, she crossed her arms defiantly. “What do you want, Evelyn?”
“Oo, we’re using government names now.” She chuckled, looking at her square in the eyes. “Well, since you asked so nicely, I was wondering if you had had sex with my adorable ex yet.”
“That is so none of your business.”
“So no? Pity. Just wait, you’ll enjoy it. In fact, I could even warm her up for you.”
Silvia jerked her head, glaring at the girl beside her. “You’re disgusting and a bitch. Do us a favor, stay the fuck away from my girlfriend.”
“The fuck are you doing here?”
Silvia looked up at Luci, staring down at Evie, the rage simmering off her skin, making her take up more space.
“Hello, psycho.”
Lucita just smirked. “And don’t forget it. Remember that when I beat your ass for harassing my friends.”
Evie stood up, getting up close and personal with Lucita, who didn’t budge or flinch.
“You think you’re such a badass, but just wait. I know something you don’t.”
“If you’re talking about Cyrus and Tiffany having sex, I already know. Cyrus told me a long time ago, and, FYI, we still made out last week. And that involved us getting naked, together, again. So yeah, not sure why you thought that would hurt my feelings.” Luci smirked, lips quirking on the left side of her face.
“You’re lying,” said Evie, suddenly deflated, as if all the ammo she had had was spent.
“Yeah, no. How else would I know about him losing his virginity to her this summer? He told me all about it. Not gonna lie, I was pretty pissed about it in the beginning, but I’m over it now. So, bye!”
Silvia watched Evie storm off. And once she was gone, so was the façade. Luci retook her seat, body shaking, visibly bristling, fist clenching and unclenching in her lap.
“Lu—”
“I don’t want to talk about it. I never want to talk about it.”
“Matt—”
“Matt is now in a relationship…kinda. Ugh, they’ve gone on a date already.”
“When?”
“Last Saturday.” Something in Luci’s face twitched.
“Luci, are you jealous?”
Luci sighed, throwing up her hands in frustration. “I don’t know what I am.”
“Luce—”
“I’m confused, okay. I love Cyrus. I want nothing more than to be with that idiot. By that logic, I shouldn’t feel this way. I shouldn’t want Matthew to not date. Which I know is super selfish and hypocritical. Matt deserves someone who chooses him first.”
“Damn.”
“Yeah, it’s all kinds of messed up.”
Silvia didn’t know what to say to that. So she asked the only question she could think of. “Are we still going to Matt’s Halloween party later?”
Lucita groaned, slapping her hand against her face dramatically. “Fuck, I forgot about that. I don’t know, dude. You can all go; I might sit this one out.”
“Lu, come on, it won’t be a party without you.”
“Probably less drama.”
“Probably, but your drama is like a telenovela. And we’re your costars. Vamos, it’ll be fun.”
“Oh, totalmente dude. It’s gonna be loads of fun being around the one guy I love more than anything, who doesn’t want me and my kinda ex and the person he’s kinda seeing. Yup, totally fun.”
“Look at you talking Spanish. So proud. Now, come on, don’t throw yourself such a pity party.”
“Oh, but I’m so good at it,” she said with an eye-roll, lips quirking up in a smile as she leaned back into her chair, taking a sip of her punch.
“Is it spiked?”
“Yo, I fucking wish Vee.”
***
Luci, Silvia, Blake, Becca, Jason, and Olivia stood on the porch of Matthew’s house. He opened the door, and Luci shoved her way past him, not missing a beat.
“Tell me you have alcohol.”
“Hello to you, too,” he said, closing the door behind them. “Yeah, in the kitchen—”
“Luce—”
Luci’s eyes widened, and she ran off, leaving Cyrus standing on the stairs.
“Great party, dude,” said Blake, patting Matt on the back. “It’s gonna be fun.”
Matt gave him a grim look before sighing and looking up at Cyrus.
“You’ve gotta leave her alone.”
“I just need to talk to her.”
“No, you really don’t,” said Becca. “You want to talk to her for yourself, not her benefit.”
“Anyway,” started Olivia, clapping her hands together, “Let’s party.”
***
Luci wove around the bodies of Everglades High students, some of whom she knew from middle school. Some girls waved at her, recognizing her as “Cyrus’s stalker” or the “Girl from the chorus who had that huge crush on Cyrus.” She had a name, not that they had ever bothered to learn it, denigrating her to moments in time and stealing her identity.
She should have gone home. She should have gone home and written some morbid, depressing, heartbreaking poetry.
Now, that would have been something straight out of middle school.
“Hey there,” Luci said as she stared at the nun next to her.
“Hi,” she said warily. Who was this?
“You look like you could use a drink.”
Lucita’s shoulders sagged in relief. “Gods, yes, you have no idea.”
The nun laughed. Luci took a moment to take them in. They were pretty. Gorgeous, actually, with full lips and big brown almond-shaped eyes.
“I’m Jae, by the way.”
Something clicked, and Luci’s eyes widened. “Oh!” Fuck. “I know you! I’m Matt’s friend Lucita. Everyone just calls me Luci.”
“Oh!” Jae took a step back, looking Luci up and down. “I get it now.”
“Huh?”
“Why you guys used to fuck. You’re cute.”
Luci just about died. “He told you about that?”
Jae chuckled. “Oh yeah. It’s not exactly first-date material, but I appreciate the honesty. He also told me about all the shit with Cyrus. It’s fucked up.”
“Isn’t it! Ugh, please get me a drink. I’m in desperate need of one.”
Jae laughed. “Oh, I can tell. Follow me.” Jae grabbed her hand, pulling her through the crowd. Luci decided she liked Jae. She liked Jae a lot, in fact. The easy way, they laughed and took her in without judgment. If Matt was gonna try to date anyone, Jae was the perfect person for that, giving off perfect vibes.
Letting go of her hand, safely ensconced in the kitchen, Jae poured her a cup of whatever was in the punch bowl. Whatever it was, it was strong and just what she needed.
“Good?”
“Oh yeah.”
“You guys met.” Matt must have followed her into the kitchen, stepping up into the kitchen. He gently stepped up to her side, a hand on her waist, looking down at her with concern. She tried not to think about how warm it was, how much she wanted to kiss him.
“Yup,” she said, cup on her lips, allowing her to steadily sip at the drink.
“You okay? With Cyrus?”
She didn’t want to think about Cyrus. Cyrus, whom she could feel lurking somewhere, waiting for her. Cyrus, whom she also wanted to kiss. But she was so angry at him; being angry at him was better than loving him. It dulled the hurt and distracted her.
“Yup, totally fine. See, I have alcohol.”
“Lu—” He sounded exasperated. Was he? Jae stepped up to his side, touching his arm gently. Something in her pulled tight seeing that gesture. It was so intimate that it made her feel as if she were intruding. And maybe she was. This was his chance to find happiness, and who was she to stand in the way?
“I’m gonna go to the bathroom. Thanks for the drink, Jae! Nice meeting you!”
Luci had to escape the new couple. A part of herself was jealous that Matthew was no longer hers to kiss. No longer hers to hold. And when he had stepped up beside her, it had taken everything in her to not lean forward and kiss her.
So, instead, she made her way away from everyone upstairs and sat in the guest bedroom, feeling sorry for herself. She was good at that and didn’t know how to be anything less than in love with Cyrus.
She loved Cyrus, but she was so sick of loving him. She was so sick of getting her heart broken by him. So sick of getting her hopes up that he’d see her one day.
The door creaked open, and she turned. Something in her raged.
“Get away from me, Cyrus.”
Cyrus closed the door, locking it behind him. “We have to talk.”
“No. Absolutely not. I don’t want to talk to you.”
Lucita got up from the bed and tried to make her way around him. She didn’t even want to touch him, to brush against him. But he didn’t budge, blocking her only path out of the room.
“No, we have to talk about this.”
“You slept with Tiffany!”
“And you slept with Matthew. What’s the difference?”
He stared at her like he couldn’t believe there was a difference. But there was. And he was an idiot if he thought the situations were the same.
“Those are completely different things.”
“How so? Explain it to me.”
A fly could have flown into her mouth by how wide she had it. The absurdity of the question, the way he didn’t understand, didn’t see, was infuriating. He was so incredibly stupid for someone who was supposed to be so smart.
“I love you. I wanted you. I always want you. But you know what, you never wanted me. Never. The difference is you knew how I felt about you, and you slept with her anyway. You know I love you, and you did it anyway to hurt me. You still chose someone other than me. You broke my heart. You’re always breaking my heart.”
Cyrus stared at her, hazel eyes wide, staring down at her as if he was finally seeing her.
“Lu—I know. I wish…I wish I could go back in time and not do it. I wish things could be different. I do.”
“What do I mean to you?”
“Lu—”
“No.” She was tired of his cowardice. “Tell me, Cyrus, what do I mean to you? Do I mean anything to you?”
Cyrus stood there momentarily before stepping out of her way, leaving her path clear to run. Always the coward. Her fists clenched.
“Luci—you know I care about you.”
“That’s not answering the question, Cyrus,” she snapped. She didn’t know why she thought this moment would be any different than before. Scoffing, she stormed past him, unlocked the door, and threw it open. She couldn’t get away quickly enough. And yet, there he was, following after her. Let him. Let him be the one to follow fruitlessly for once.
“Luce,” he said, reaching out to her, but she didn’t let him, snapping her arm away.
“Don’t.” When she looked at him this time, she did so with pleading eyes. “I need time, okay. I just need some fucking time.”
She turned away, unable to look at him any longer, and was about to head back downstairs when she saw someone she didn’t expect with a girl draped over her shoulder.
“The fuck.”
***
Silvia looked around for Olivia. She had said something about getting something to drink, but that had been a while ago.
“You okay?” asked Blake, plastic red cup in his hand.
“Yeah. I’m just wondering where Olive is. She’s been gone a while.”
Blake peeked above the crowd. “Last I saw her, she was by the kitchen. She had been chatting with some of the volleyball players.”
“Yeah, she said she was gonna see if they had any tips, so our team didn’t suck so much. But still, that was a while ago.” Silvia scanned the crowd. “And I don’t see her with them anymore.”
“Hmm, okay. Let’s go look—”
“Silvia!” Silvia spun, looking at Cyrus, making his way towards her, shoving people out of his way. She caught Matthew’s eye from across the room, Jae beside him.
“Cyrus, what—”
“No time. I need you to come with me.” He pulled at her hand, dragging her after him up the stairs. Blake followed after her, and together they ran up the stairs and down the hall into a room where Luci had Evie pinned up against the wall, arm pressing down on her throat, a cut across her cheek.
Seeing them, Lucita let go of Evie, but not before she punched her in the face, sending her to the ground. Silvia watched Luci roll her shoulders back and raise her chin, clearly happy to let out her pent-up frustrations. The question was why.
“What—”
“This bitch was trying to force herself on Olive.”
Something in Silvia seized, and she looked finally at the bed where a girl lay, underwear pulled down to her ankles, eyes closed.
“Oh my god, Olivia!” Silvia ran to her girlfriend, shaking her, unsure what to do. She looked at Lucita fearfully as she cradled her girlfriend’s head in her lap. “She’s not waking up.”
“Bitch probably drugged her.” Lucita shot a scathing look at the girl on the floor, back pressed up against the wall.
“Fuck you,” muttered Evie.
“You don’t get to talk. I will beat the shit out of you, gladly, if you don’t get out of my sight. Psycho, remember.”
“What the hell is going on here?” Everyone turned to look at Matthew in the doorframe, Becca by his side, Jae and Jason right behind them. His eyes finally narrowed on Evie on the floor. “The hell are you doing here?”
“Dude, she needs to go,” said Blake, cradling Olivia into his arms. Silvia quickly got up, gently pulling Olivia’s underwear back up. No one else needed to see her like this.
“She was trying to rape my girlfriend. We need to call the police!” Everyone looked at her sympathetically.
“She’s right,” said Cyrus, pulling out his phone and getting ready to dial.
“No—” The words came from Olivia, head slumped down. “No police—”
Silvia couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
“Olive—”
“No. Just take me home.” The words were weak, muffled. Silvia looked at Lucita for help.
“She didn’t do anything. I saw her just in time. Legally, this is a grey area, and we’re all drinking. Illegally. And…well, let’s just get her someplace safe.”
“Vee,” began Blake, clearly sensing that she wanted to argue. She looked at him pleadingly, this guy who was cradling her girlfriend with such tenderness. “You can’t force Olivia to do something she doesn’t want to.”
“Let’s go to my house,” said Cyrus, shoving his hands into his pockets. “My mom won’t mind. And we can sneak in through the back.”
“No adults—” mumbled Olivia.
“Pool house it is,” said Luci, leading the way. She stopped part of the way, leaning down to grab Evie by the chin, jerking her head up forcefully. Sometimes, Silvia forgot how scary Lucita could be.
“If I ever see you go near her again, I’ll kill you.”
“You’re all bark,” snarled Evie, grin on her face.
Silvia watched Lucita dig her nails into her cheeks. “Look at me, Evie. I promise you, I will kill you.” Evie stopped grinning, hate darkening her eyes. Silvia watched her friend release her and take a step back. She had no doubt Luci’s threat was real. And she loved her friend all the more for it.
The pool house was cramped with all of them there. Luci sat on the floor, Blake beside her, Becca on her other side. Jason stood by the door, arms crossed, while Matt, Jae, and Cyrus stood beside the window. Silvia sat on the sofa, Olivia’s head on her lap, brushing back her beautiful red hair.
No one knew what to do or how to proceed. How can they pretend they hadn’t just stopped their friend from getting raped? How did they move on from this when the hurting girl lay unconscious? How did they help her?
But the knowledge that Evie had done it once turned something in her stomach. Evie had manipulated Olive, had taken advantage of her. At one time, Olivia had believed she had loved Evie. But those days were long gone.
Lucita said she had stopped it and that nothing had happened. But something had. Evie had reduced Olivia to nothing but a vulnerable object. Silvia didn’t know how to help her or how to heal her after this. If she couldn’t figure that out, how was she supposed to protect her when it counted?
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