Fall

Lucita stared ahead of her through the window at the approaching heights of her high school. She longed to return to the putrid hot summer where she had spent the days at the pool alongside her friends or sitting on the roof eating chips and salsa, laughing and having fun at midnight and beyond. She wanted to return to her safe summer from all the people who hated her and wanted to make her life hell.

“Have a good day, mijita,” said her mother, pulling up to the front gate.

Sighing inwardly, moving her hand through her short, curly black hair. Late in the day yesterday, much to her mother’s shock, she had cut her hair after getting out of the shower. Her mother had helped her fix any unevenness. Lucita felt lighter now, even with the weight of what was to come encroaching upon her.

“I’ll try.”

Her mother gave her a stern but loving glare. “You’re allowed to punch anyone who harasses you.” She reached over and put a gentle hand on her shoulder. “They’re just jealous, don’t let them get to you.”

“Yeah, okay.” She gave her mom a peck on the cheek. “Love you, Mommy.” Even at sixteen, she was still stuck in the role of docile six-year-old. Once upon a time, it used to bother her, but after everything that happened last year, everything with her and her mother, it felt like a calm truce.

“Love you too.”

Grabbing her black and white Beetlejuice backpack from the floor, she exited the car, sliding it over her shoulder. She walked around, fingers trailing over the car’s hood, and her heart raced. Ever since Liz and her stupid friends had called her slut right there at the school entrance, she felt a surge of fear and shame, the humiliation still stinging.

“You cut your hair!” Arms wrapped around her, engulfing her in a hug. Laughing, Lucita hugged Silvia back. She had been in Chicago this past month, returning yesterday afternoon, so she hadn’t seen her friends yet. After having long hair for so long, she should have expected her hair to be a shock to them.

“Yeah, my uncle pointed out all my split ends, so when I got home yesterday, I just took a pair of scissors to it. I cried a little.”

“You would,” snickered her friend Blake, stepping up alongside Jason.

“It looks good, Lu,” said Jason, skateboard slung behind him in his bag.

“I’m not saying it looks bad. If anything, it makes her look paler.” Blake grinned at her, blue eyes shining. Even now, it was a shock to think of Blake as her friend.

“You mean it? And here I was thinking my vampirism wouldn’t show.”

“Especially under all those curls,” joked Jason. “Never knew you had such curly hair. Always seemed just wavy with the long hair.”

“Oh, don’t tease. My straightener broke, and my mini one is only good for my bangs.”

“Does this mean I can ruffle your hair?”

“Don’t you dare Blake!”

They were all too busy laughing that they didn’t notice the girl with the too-tight ponytail, slicked with too much gel to tame the wavy brown frizz she called hair, barrelling towards them. She knocked into Lucita’s shoulder, knocking her off balance.

“Watch it, Liz,” snarled Silvia, grabbing hold of Luci to steady her.

Elizabeth, Lucita’s former best friend, stared down at her in her Slipknot t-shirt, ripped jeans, and chuck taylors, arms crossed. Liz ignored Silvia, staring firmly at Lucita, making her feel like a roach that needed to be squashed.

“You think you can change your hair and be a different person, but you can’t. You’re still a slut.”

“Back off, Elizabeth.” Jason stepped up in front of Lucita protectively, giving his ex a challenging glare.

“Let’s all agree that Elizabeth can fuck herself,” started Blake, “’cause we all know no one else wants to.”

Lucita had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. But Blake was a perfect asshole, and he was her asshole, her friend. She counted herself lucky to be his friend instead of on the other side of his obnoxious attitude.

Liz flipped him off, storming off.

“Girl is wacked,” sighed Silvia, shaking her head. Her long brown hair was highlighted, and her balayage was lovely and suited her tan skin.

“She’s hurting.” Together, the small group turned. Their friend Becca stood in her flip-flops, shorts, and t-shirt, looking ready for the beach. And maybe she was; she loved to surf when her mother decided to let her.

Lucita stared at her, unable to discern if this girl was still her friend. They hadn’t ended great last year, but Becca and Lucita had never really discussed it. Lucita studied this girl and noticed the bags under her eyes and how baggy her clothes were.

“Pain doesn’t give her permission to be a bitch,” said Blake staring down at his ex. He had tried to fight for them, but they had been divided by Luci and Liz, and ultimately, Blake had ended things.

“And it’s not fair,” began Jason. “I hurt her too. In fact, I hurt her more. She’s taking it all out on Luci.”

“I call bullshit,” continued Blake in a sing-song voice.

This time, Silvia laughed. “Agreed. She can be angry, but by taking it all out on Luci, the bullying and rumors, that shit has to stop. Liz can’t be that upset at her for something that wasn’t her fault.”

“Yeah, that shit…you think Luci likes any of that shit?” said Blake staring down his ex-girlfriend. Luci stared at him, partly thankful they were all standing up for her, partly annoyed they were talking about her like she wasn’t there. But she didn’t have the strength to defend herself anymore, to say the same thing over and over again.

“Not that she would know,” started Jason, “She was too busy having fun with Liz and Evia to care.”

“That’s not true.” Rebecca’s round brown eyes turned towards her, hardened but still a little soft around the edges. “We weren’t just having fun, she was our friend—”

“Speak for yourself,” muttered Blake. Jason elbowed him.

“She was our friend,” started Lucita. Everyone looked at her as if shocked she had spoken, but she couldn’t let this go on; she just wanted it all to end. “We cared about her, we wondered. I messaged her. She blocked my number and didn’t want to hear from me. She didn’t want to hear my side of the story. I tried Becca; I tried to make it right. Liz didn’t want to try; she didn’t want to hear it.”

“Don’t forget she almost tried to flunk you,” said Silvia.

Lucita rolled her eyes. “You know what, yeah. Before even talking to me, she just believed everything. She messed up, too, so why am I the only person trying to apologize? I’m tired of it.”

“Speaking of shitty people, where did that punk Francis go?” said Blake. “He was a dick who needs to face the music.”

“For your info, he’s at juvy.”

That caught Silvia and Lucita off guard. Both girls shared a look. They had talked about him briefly whenever the guys weren’t around. Lucita remembered getting a call from the juvenile detention center but had ignored it, believing it to be a prank or the wrong number. Now she realized they had been real. They had been him.

At the time, a part of her had worried it had been Cyrus. But she had called him, and he had answered. Matthew and the guy he had been dating at the time, a very short-lived relationship, had told her not to worry about it and that it was probably nothing. But it had bothered her incessantly, confiding in Silvia.

And now she knew why.

“No shit. Doesn’t surprise me,” muttered Blake.

“Why is he in juvy?” asked Lucita.

Rebecca just glared at her. “If you bothered to pick up your phone, you would know.”

“How the hell was I supposed to know that,” exclaimed Lucita, throwing her hands up in frustration. “Nothing on the message even said it was him. And you know what? He had no right to call me after what he did.”

“Hopefully, he stays there,” muttered Jason.

“Agreed,” said Silvia.

“You guys are awful.”

“He’s awful,” said Lucita, her anger rising, muscles tensing. “He dated her to make me jealous. Francis kissed me. He forced himself on me repeatedly. He lied about me, and he spread rumors about me and fake photos.

“Francis is a horrible person. He deserves this. You have no idea Becca, no idea what it was like for me last year. I got all the shit, every last bit of it. I’m everyone’s punching bag, and that’s not fair! And you know what, I’m tired of taking all the shit.” Lucita bit back the tears and stormed off, Jason trailing behind her.

Silvia watched her go, stuck to Blake’s side. Blake stood there and just glared at Rebecca.

“You know, Becca, I never thought I would say this about you, but you’re a bitch.” Silvia’s eyes widened. On the list of things she would have never expected, that was up there.

“You know Elizabeth put her through so much shit,” he continued. “She almost flunked her in French. Liz bullied her. She called her a slut not five feet from where we’re standing. That is all so fucked up, and you know it.”

“You don’t get—”

“Don’t even Becca. There is nothing I need to understand. She’s a bitch, and you’ve become one.” Blake stormed off after Lucita and Jason, leaving Silvia alone with her friend. Were they even still friends? Even this close up to Becca, Silvia felt divided, saw the desperation in her eyes, and saw the desperate need to please her friends.

“I don’t get you, Becca,” she said finally, shoving her hands into her pockets.

“We were friends.”

“Were…well, glad that’s clear. I don’t get why you’re Liz’s friend. Liz…she’s selfish, she’s always been like that. And you just follow her around like you need her. You don’t need her. You don’t need people like that who don’t care and put you down. When you figure that out, give me a call.”

Silvia didn’t really have more to say. She stared at the hurt in Becca’s eyes before walking off after her friends. But what else could she do about it? Becca turned her back on them and continued to do that. Silvia didn’t know how to make her friend just see Liz for who she was.

So Rebecca just stood there, pulling out the frays of her old t-shirt, bleached by the sun and detergent. She had to stick by Elizabeth; she was her oldest friend. Despite that, though, it was Silvia she had been closest to; Silvia had always sat there and listened to her. Silvia was honest with her, even when Rebecca didn’t want to hear it.

But now, there was this divide between them, brought out by a single mistake.

“Becca you done just standing there.” Evie pulled up next to her, popping gum in between her teeth. Her blond hair was pulled back into a too-tight ponytail, pulling at her forehead. She had pushed her way into Liz’s life and had been the catalyst for last year’s catastrophe. Now she was Liz’s best friend…and now Becca’s by extension.

“No, yeah, sorry, I was—”

“Yeah, I saw, rushing to stand up for Liz. But they’re gone, so can we go find Liz now?” Evie didn’t even wait, her blond extensions blowing out behind her as she strolled ahead, gum popping, long legs pushing her through the throng of students and guys who whistled at her in her miniskirt.

Sometimes, Becca didn’t know why she hung around them. But Elizabeth had been her oldest friend; forgetting that, it seemed like a betrayal of herself and their friendship.

Following her, she could see her friends off in the distance. Lucita, lying on a bench, her head in Jason’s lap, Blake and Silvia standing over her protectively. They were all so close now, all their previous issues forgotten. It made Becca long to be a part of that.

Everything now just seemed broken.

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