Cyrus sat at his desk, staring at the email from her.

Dear Cyrus,

Evie told me what happened. That Luci knows about what we did. I’m still not sorry.

Look, I’ve been thinking about you lately. I miss you. I know you have my number blocked. Please reach out to me. I’ll have you if she won’t.

            Tiffany

He should delete it. He should tell her to go fuck herself. Why had he done such a stupid thing with such an unworthy person?

Because he was an unworthy person.

Cyrus slammed his laptop closed when a knock came at his door.

“¿Si?”

His mother peeked in. “Cyrus, la cena está lista.”

“Okay, coming.”

He followed after her, hands shoved into his pockets.

“¿Todo bien?”

Cyrus sighed. “Luci y yo…we’re not talking.”

“¿Porque?”

“Hice algo estúpido. I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“Hmm. Did you apologize?”

“Sorry isn’t good enough for this. I really messed up.”

His mother didn’t say anything else, just led the way to the table where his sister and brother were already sitting. His sister, who was ten years older than he, always came home twice a week for dinner. Every Wednesday and Saturday. Despite their age difference, he was closer to her than to his brother, who was only two years younger.

“¿Porque triste?” asked his sister, taking her usual seat across from him.

“He’s fighting with his girlfriend,” snickered his brother, serving himself some ropa vieja on top of his rice and beans.

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“He wishes she were.”

“Don’t tease your brother.”

Cyrus served himself some dinner, letting the family talk while he ruminated over his life choices.

How had he messed up so badly? How could he fix it? Why was he always breaking her heart?

He pulled out his phone. Every text he had sent to her had been left unread. Slipping his phone back into his pocket, he picked off the rest of his dinner in silence.

Later that night, Cyrus sat on his bed, playing with his electric keyboard. He thought about that summer in middle school, when he would go to piano practice, then come home and play for Lucita over the phone. It was on this very keyboard, on this same bed. Now he listlessly hit the duplicate keys, trying to compose something, anything to distract him. But everything made him think about Luci.

A knock came at his door.

“Come in.”

His sister entered, wrinkling her nose, probably smelling the fresh pot he had ground up. He probably should have opened the window, but he wasn’t in the mood to care.

Closing the door behind her, she walked over to his desk, took a seat, and studied him. He hit the duplicate three keys on the keyboard, the start of Moonlight Sonata.

“You were quiet during dinner.”

“Yeah.”

“What’s going on between you and Luci?”

“I fucked up.”

Karina let out a heavy sigh. “What did you do?”

Cyrus stopped playing, looking up at his sister. She had the same golden brown hair, the same hazel eyes. The moment he told her, he knew he would see his own disappointment reflected in her eyes.

“Do you remember Tiffany?”

“The girl who was only dating you to get back at Luci and also spread those lies? Yeah, I remember that little puta.”

“Well…I slept with her.”

He watched his sister’s eyes widen, her arms crossed over her chest, as she took in a sharp breath.

“Mierda. How did Luci find out? I’m assuming she found out.”

“I told her. I blurted it out right before we were about to…you know.”

“Have sex? Got it. Dio Cyrus, how could you be so stupid?”

“I fucked up! I know! Now she’s not talking to me.”

“You’re lucky she hasn’t blocked your number.”

“I don’t know how to fix this.”

“Why did you do it?”

“I don’t know. God, Luci…I feel so unworthy of her, Karina. She loves me. She loves me so much, and it scares me. I’m not good enough for her. I don’t deserve someone as good as her.”

“Don’t you think that’s for her to decide?”

“She would choose me every day.”

“That should tell you something.” They sat there silent for a moment. “You had sex with that girl to keep Luci away. That’s why you told her when you did. You know, Cy, if you keep pushing that girl away, one day you’re gonna lose her for good.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Do you? Because if you keep this up, you will. You sure that’s not what you want?”

“No, god, no. I’m so fucking stupid.”

“You need to grovel to Luci. Do yourself a favor, write her a song.”

Cyrus just stared at her, stunned. “You’re kidding.”

“You, sir, need to do anything you can to get her back. Don’t be stupid and lose her.” Karina came over to him, giving him a light kiss on his head before leaving him alone with his thoughts and her words of wisdom. And then he did what he should have done earlier, grabbing his laptop and sending off a quick “Fuck you,” before adding a new email to his blocklist.

He was done messing up.

Cyrus spent the rest of the night left with two different sheet musics, trying to find the perfect way to layer them. He studied “Clair de Lune”, marking the moments it could blend easily to “Dearly Beloved”, the theme song to her favorite game, Kingdom Hearts, which she liked to call “The best thing ever.” She always joked that if she were to get married, that would be the song she would walk down the aisle to.

He worked late into the night, staying holed up in his room, passing out around 4 am and waking up 5 hours later to a knock at his door. Stumbling out of bed, he stepped on his keyboard, giving himself a heart attack. His door opened, and his sister peeked in, taking in the mess that was his bed and his general appearance.

“Shit,” he mumbled.

“I see you took my advice to heart. Late night.”

“Yeah.”

“Hmm. Good. Anyway, I’m heading back to my home. Carlos misses me and says he has a surprise for me.”

“When are you going to marry that fool?”

“When I feel like it. And who are you calling a fool?” she said, leaning against the door frame, eyebrows raised high, “You really aren’t one to talk, Ciro.”

Cyrus smiled at his sister. Everyone used to call him Ciro, except for Luci. He was always Cyrus, nothing less than his full name. Now, everyone calls him by his name. It was nice to hear his nickname used again.

“You’re right. But I’m gonna fix.” He waved his arm to indicate the mess of sheet music over his bed.

“Good, you’d better. She’s a good person who loves you, don’t fuck it up.” Stepping up to him, she ruffled his already messy hair. “Also, take a bath, your hair stinks of pot.”

With that, she left him there. He was almost done with the piece, just a few more tweaks here and there. There was something else he needed to do.

Cyrus stood at Matthew’s front door. He could have used his key or gone in through the back, where their backyards connected by a door. But after the last night he had gone in and made himself at home, he no longer felt comfortable walking in whenever he wanted.

“Ciro! Buenas tardes mijo!” Matthew’s mother pulled him in, wrapping him in a tight, warm hug.

“Hola madrina. Mateo esta aqui?”

“Si. Esta arriba en sue habitacion.”

“Gracias.” He gave his godmother a kiss on the cheek, heading upstairs to Matt’s room. Gingerly, he knocked on the door. Matthew opened it, in nothing but shorts, his dark hair contrasting with his light brown.

Matthew looked at him, confused. “Cyrus, what’s up?”

“Can we talk?”

“Yeah. Sure. Come in.”

Cyrus sat at Matt’s desk. He took the moment to study his longtime friend, his godbrother. “Remember when we used to sail together, and race cars on my uncle’s track.”

“Yeah,” said Matt slowly, studying him with equal measure.

“Was I the reason we stopped?”

“Cy—”

“I’m serious. Was it me? Because we used to hang out all the time.”

Matthew let out a deep breath. “Cy, look, I think everything just got all kinds of fucked up. It was hard to be around you. You know, like Luci, I had the hugest crush on you. You know this. All I wanted was ot be around you and bask in your attention. Then I kind of outgrew you, I guess, and then, well, everything that happened with Tiffany and Luci.”

“Do you have feelings for her?”

Matthew just stared at him, his heart racing, scared of the answer. What would he do if Matt did?

“It wouldn’t matter if I did; she only has eyes for you.”

That wasn’t a no. Cyrus stared at his oldest friend. “I have feelings for her.”

“I know you do. I’ve always known that you do, since middle school.”

“I have to fix it.”

“Yeah, you do.”

“Will you help me?”

“Fuck dude, of course I will. You’re still my best friend.”

Cyrus grinned. “You’re mine.” “Yeah, that’s only because I’m the only one who can tolerate your stupidity.” They grinned at each other, the tension in the room melting away.

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