Eris sat with Jeanette — of all people — in a room no Shadowling could enter. It was a small room, with only two chairs and a table and the tiniest of stoves in what was supposed to pass as a kitchen. There were no windows, no way to see in or out and a single wood door, shabby with paint chipping on it that marked the only exit and entrance. Across the table, Jeanette stared at him, her blue eyes puffy and red. He couldn’t blame her for crying, everything was his fault.

“Jeanette, I’m sure she can save him.”

“Have you seen what he does? Even Hetiro doesn’t do that, Hetiro didn’t even know it was possible.” She paused, taking a deep breath. “Eris, he’s teaching the others, the other mind readers, to do it too. Can she save all of them?”

“No, but she can kill all of them.”

“Do you think he would let her?”

“If she saves him then yes.”

“If.”  They sat there a moment. “She’ll never speak to you, she hates you.”

“Once she sees—”

“Once she sees her heart will break! She loves him!”

“Don’t you think I know that! I wish every day that I had done nothing.”

“You let whatever feelings you have for that Shadowling manipulate you. You should have let it be or asked Nivette or Negal!”

“I asked you didn’t I?”

Jeanette shook her head. “You were too far gone—”

“Do you think that should have mattered? Besides, I asked Negal, she never got back to me. Instead, she hid from me.”

“Because you cared too much, Eris. No one could trust you; we all thought you were going to kill him. I wish we had let you.”

“I wanted to know first, whether he was of the Light or the Dark. By turning him, I gave him over to the dark.”

“We’re all to blame, Eris. You’re right, we should have trusted you. You asked us to find out the truth, and we didn’t. Instead, I let my stupid anger blind me. Too late now, though,” continued Jeanette, looking away, “as a mortal, he was of the Light.”

“And now he’s dark, and I’m to blame. I let my paranoia and fear get the better of me. I let Shira manipulate me. I lost Nivette, and now I’m going to tear Selene’s heart to pieces.”

“She is Light Eris; let’s hope that her light is enough to save him.” Jeanette sighed. “What about Shira and Lilith? You could get rid of them.”

“No,” said Eris, shaking his head. “Lilith is too powerful; she has followers. Selene would need to be the one to get rid of her…or Blake.”

“Blake’s pride won’t let him. He wants you to suffer from your decision, even if it means he suffers.”

“Talk him into it.”

Offering him a glare, her fist clenched on the table. “Don’t you think I’m trying! That bitch killed his girlfriend because of you!”

“I told her not to harm anyone!” he screamed, slamming his hand on the table.

“Well, she ignored that order, Eris. Because of you, she killed Zoë. Blake has more right than Selene to that bitch’s poisonous blood.”

“Then he should take care of her, Jeanette.” They sat there for a moment, silent, letting their own fury calm down. Eris deserved every drop of spit that went his way, but that didn’t mean he had to just take it. The blame wasn’t all his.

Taking a deep breath, Eris straightened in his seat and looked back at her. “Well, if he doesn’t dispose of her, Selene will. As for Shira, if I got rid of her, she’ll figure out something is wrong. She has an entire army on her side. Shadowlings are unpredictable; who knows what she’s going to do?”

Jeanette bent down and pulled out a vial of dried lilies and gold liquid from the small cabinet by her feet. She tossed it to him lightly, watching as he uncorked it and downed the liquid, crunching down on the lilies as he swallowed.

Taking back the bottle, she replaced it in a rack and counted the remaining bottles. A grim expression covered her face.

“How low?” said Eris swallowed the last part of the lilies. Covered in the shining liquid, it wasn’t half bad, reminding him of the taste of strawberries.

“I only have three full bottles left and enough ingredients to make three days’ worth. I don’t know if I’ll be able to sneak back to make it, though, at least not without Lilith finding out. And there’s not enough time now to even start.”

“Well, you’ll need to figure out something. Shira—her blood is intoxicating.”

“Not to mention poisonous.” Jeanette sighed. “If I can get back here to make enough, please resist her, use all your strength and resist her.”

Eris stood and went over to her, stroking her cheek with a smile that reminded Jeanette of the old sunlit days.

“I’ll do my best, Jeanette, that’s all I can promise you.  I’m sorry.” He grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair and his helmet from the table. “I’ll get Lilith to follow Eno, let Eno know, okay. That should give you enough time to sneak out and make the potion.”

“And her spies?”

“I’ll think of something, maybe I’ll have them watch Selene’s comrades, she hates me already.” He leaned against the wall, giving her one of his old charming smiles, making Jeanette laugh.

“I remember a time when that smile would have made me melt.”

“No longer? What a pity.” Eris strapped on his leather jacket and placed his helmet on before he left. Hopping onto his bike, he sent electrical currents through it, lighting up the engine. He didn’t need the bike, but he liked how it made traveling easier. He also thought he looked kind of sexy on it.

Driving on, zooming past this person and that on the streets of the city, he looked up at the sky at the rising of the first moon.

Forgive me, he thought as he raced to Nephilium.

***

Eris pulled his bike up to a church of light. Taking off his helmet, he kicked out his bike stand and sat there for a moment.

Standing outside of these churches, he always wondered if he was truly ever allowed into one of these holy places.

Come in, Eris.

Opening the fence, he walked up the path, his helmet under his arm, each step weighing heavier and heavier until he stepped into it. He had the feeling that he was being watched.

The inside was dark but welcoming, warm, and filled with the scent of incense. Rosemary, he thought. Looking up, he saw that the only light was that emanating from the statues. It was a gift from Those of the Light, a symbol that no matter how dark it got, there would always be a shining light.

His pace was slow but determined as he walked past the pews to the front, where a priestess sat, her head covered with a white hood. The room was silent, except for the squeak of his rubber soles that echoed off the walls.

“Does she have to come back to the coven?” he asked, sitting down next to the single priestess. A gentle hand came from the gown and placed itself on his arm. Eris looked at the Goddess, who greeted him with sad gray eyes and a smile. She was always smiling.

“None of this was supposed to happen. I should not have given him a second life.”

“I shouldn’t have killed those people. I should have made her trust me more, not lose faith in me.”

The Goddess shook her head. “That was my sisters’ fault. She is the reason people stopped trusting you. But let’s not dwell on what has happened, for they cannot be undone.” She took her hand off him and placed it back in her lap, leaning her head on his shoulder much like Selene. “Let us focus on the future, Eris. Selene must return to the coven; she is the only one who can save you both. Under no circumstances can you let her fail. You are her grounder as she is yours.”

“What’s going to happen?”

“I cannot tell you. Just know that her light will never go out.”

“That’s not very uplifting, Amaliena.”

The Goddess looked up at him, her eyes wide. “You remembered my name. Sure took you long enough.” Eris looked away, shutting away his thoughts. He did not want to remember. All he wanted was his sister back in his life, for her to laugh and smile and punch him in the arm when he got out of line. All he wanted was his sister and—

“How’s Azelia?”

“She’s fine, just waiting for you.”

“Will I see her again?”

“I don’t know Eris, it all depends on Selene. Only time can tell.” She kissed his cheek and vanished into light.

Take care Eris. “I’ll try,” he answered back running to his bike. The second moon was high in the sky, and the park was close by. Putting the bike into gear, he launched forward, his guilt growing more and more as he sped onward.